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Friday, 13 June 2008
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I'm bringing Xanga back - drop a comment if you're with me!
Auto message, but I'm sure you darlings get the drift (:
Friday, 03 August 2007
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Thank God for Auntie Rita.
So what should I do, now?
Thursday, 02 August 2007
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I find myself constantly worrying over something that I definitely shouldn't be. I mean, it's all about _____ right?
Right.
So why do I find that I simply cannot relax about it? I don't know. Simply put: What happens when I'm not there? Am I being told the entire truth? Are they lying to me? I always find myself not quite trusting the words that come out of people's mouths. For me, it is real when I'm there. The truth becomes hazy when I'm not there for myself. I've always thought, 'Who else can I completely trust except for my own two eyes?'
But then enters a third variable. What then? This third variable is something I desparately wish to believe in. But can I trust this new element with something that I have no control over? I've always loved to be in control of the situation; then there simply cannot be a way for me to misunderstand things.
Maybe it's time for me to loosen the reins from my hands, and pass it quietly to the third variable in this equation. After all, this element isn't quite so new to the equation. It has had time to adjust and adapt, if need be.
It's hard to trust someone when you keep on expecting either one of you to screw it up; have the screen flash a brilliant, startling white and quickly leak out to the color black, until the white shapes into letters that say, GAME OVER.
But I know, that I can trust this third variable with everything. After all, he has become an integral part of my life; without him a small part of me that has grown with him will cease to exist. Maybe it wouldn't dissapear, but it would evolve to something else entirely different without the third variable.
So I guess the real question is, Can I trust my rational thought process? Can I trust myself?
If I can entrust myself to another person completely, then I must be able to trust myself. It's only logical. After all, can you love someone properly if you don't love yourself?
Trust issues. They're a pain in the arse.
Wednesday, 01 August 2007
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I'm quite happy to report that I'm currently in Singapore. It's been really great, getting to see everyone again :] But sometimes I just feel really odd.
I didn't know that I was capable of missing someone this much. When you're used to seeing this person practically everyday, and if you don't see him, you at least get to hear his voice everyday. I didn't know that I would miss hearing him laugh while we're tickling each other, or seeing him grin at me. I didn't know that I would miss his arms wrapped around me, or hearing him tease my little sister and perhaps me, watching him eat what I make and having him help me out in the kitchen. I even miss bickering with him, as odd as it sounds.
I thought that all our experiences together would be enough to sate me, but apparently it isn't. I find myself wishing to see him everyday, even though I'm in Singapore, a place I really, really love.
Is this odd?
It doesn't matter; I intend to enjoy myself regardless, and still do. I just find myself thinking absently, "He'd love this!" or "I wish he could see this..."
I'll just take lots of picture to show everyone then.
Saturday, 02 June 2007
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omggg im so tired.
How many more days of school left? 10, no, 9 DAYS. Wow. Time flies so very much.
I wish I had a destress button. I'm going to be so busy during summer vacation. Thinking about looking for a job...but I already have summer school. And English AP summer work. And getting ready for Singapore.
What happened?
HypeRAzNChocobO
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- Name: J.fOO!
- Birthday: 10/11/1990
- Gender: Female
- Member Since: 7/19/2004
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About Me
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I like being curled up with a good book; watching the sky; understanding things; loving life; having fun with people I love; listening to good music; and wishing on clouds instead of stars.
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